One Blessing After Another

It's been a tiring, but exciting, week for me. My daughter turned 5 on the 23rd. She's been the biggest blessing in my life. It's the most exciting thing to watch her grow and mature. Her party was fabulous. We had a big turnout and she got lots of money and lots of nice things....including a new bike, which she was very excited about. I let her get her hair straightened and she looked like a little princess. Hair was all the way to the middle of her back...Lord Jesus.

Ain't she fly?

Started the first day of my senior year today. That is too exciting for me to put into words. Like I said before, it's been a LONG time coming. I couldn't be more happy. I am actually involved with the school for the first time. As I talked about earlier, I'm the historian of Sigma Tau Delta(the English Honor Society/Fraternity). The best news, though, is that I was just offered an ON-AIR position with my college radio station today. I'm just truly excited about life and all the things, good and bad, that will be coming my way.

THANK YOU LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I see I have some visitors from all over. Holla at me ya'll. Talk to me. I only hear from suga and my friends from home. I want to meet you.

I've been crazy busy lately. School starting, my daughter getting ready for Kindergarten, AND her 5th birthday yesterday...I'm exhausted. I decided to share this with you guys. It came from my old blog.

WHY I LOVE BEING A MOTHER
1. Nobody loves you like your child. She's only three years old, but I realize that my daughter is going to grow up. She's going to grow away from her mommy. She's not going to hug and kiss me all day, everyday forever. I can dig it. However, no matter how much time passes, no matter how many arguments transpire, no matter how many times you disagree NOBODY loves you like your child does. It has been a definite struggle for me to raise my daughter. Sure, I have plenty of help. Her father and his family, my family, and the few friends I trust. Regardless, my daughter loves me the same. She doesn't care if I'm stepping out of the house in Prada's and Chanel bags. She doesn't care if I'm driving a Benz. She loves me the same. Unconditionally. I woke up this morning in a bad mood. I've been going through alot lately, emotionally. Milani took one look at me (as soon as she opened her eyes) and said "Mom(yes,my little three year old baby calls me mom..ALREADY), what's wrong?" I am not the type of mother to involve my little one in grown folk's affairs. So, I replied "Nothing much babe, Mommy just doesn't feel too good." She goes, "Well, why Mom?" I say "Because a couple of things aren't going too well for me...but I'll be okay sweet." She said "It's okay Mommy, I love you and I'm your friend." THREE! My baby is only three.
2. Such a reflection of yourself. I can't count the amount of times my and her daddy's families have said "Honey, if that ain't you!!" I couldn't be prouder because my daughter is one of the most intelligent and well-behaved little girls I have ever known. (And I'm definitely not saying that because she's mine) We go out and people always notice how mature she is for her age. Maybe it's because she's an only child and doesn't have other children to cut up with, for the most part, except at school. OR, it could be because her momma ain't raisin' no fool! I prefer the latter. Me, personally? I don't see the resemblence in us as much as everyone else. I don't think she looks like me. Nor do I think she acts like me...because she is terribly shy. She gets that from her dad. However, my daughter does get a little silly at times...like her momma. We went to see Dreamgirls back in December and for the next 3 months all she wanted to do was perform "And I'm Telling You" and "Listen". Please believe baby girl knows all the words. When her, myself, and my ladies get together lil' miss mimi keeps us entertained. My friends can't do a damn thing but smile and say "Honey, she is JUST LIKE YOU!" And looking at her, I think to myself "Well shit....not bad. Not bad at all."
3. What greater reward is there? I don't know anything that can make me feel as good as my daughter telling me she loves me. Or feeling her little lips on my cheek, forehead, hand, lips, or wherever else she feels like kissing me. (Sometimes she likes to be crazy and kiss my arm or my leg.) Nothing feels better than her two little arms, that I MADE, wrapping around my neck, leg, or waist. What could be more rewarding than going to pick your child up from a hard day's work, or a rough day of classes, and having them run at you full force because they are THAT glad that you're there? Or the cutesy little art projects they make for you. This year was Milani's first year in school. For Mother's Day, her class threw a tea party for all the moms, grandmoms, Godmoms, etc. It was the cutest fuckin' thing. I can't believe I didn't cry my damn eyes out. They made us a flower pot complete with their own decorations. They even planted their own flower in there. They also made us our Mother's Day card. It was the best Mother's Day gift. It came from my baby girl and she put her little heart into it.
I make it my business everyday to tell my daughter how much I love her. I make it my business to see that she knows that even though her father and I aren't together anymore neither one of us love her any less. I make it my business to remind her how precious she is. And even at three, I make it my business to teach my daughter that she is more valuable than any material possession or any man who ever comes into my life. She is a diamond. I treat her that way.
Women raising daughters: Teach her to love and RESPECT herself. If she doesn't she'll never understand her value. Teach her to be strong. Teach her to keep pushing. Women have it terribly hard in this world. Make your daughter a survivor, a winner, a WOMAN. Make sure you teach her her worth. If not, your daughter will have hell to pay...at YOUR expense.
Women raising sons: Teach them to love themselves. A man can be tough. A man can be strong. But if he's not gentle as well, you're going to have problems. Show him how to treat women. Starting with you. Don't let any man belittle or abuse you. Especially not around your son. It makes all the difference.
To all the mothers out there, love your kids. Because they damn sure love you.

Small Dose of OUR Reality

I ran across this article last night and was completely flabbergasted.

BERWYN HEIGHTS, Md. - Mayor Cheye Calvo got home from work, saw a package addressed to his wife on the front porch and brought it inside, putting it on a table. Suddenly, police with guns drawn kicked in the door and stormed in, shooting to death the couple's two dogs and seizing the unopened package. In it were 32 pounds of marijuana. But the drugs evidently didn't belong to the couple. Police say the couple appeared to be innocent victims of a scheme by two men to smuggle millions of dollars worth of marijuana by having it delivered to about a half-dozen unsuspecting recipients. The two men under arrest include a FedEx deliveryman; investigators said the deliveryman would drop off a package outside a home, and the other man would come by a short time later and pick it up. Now, federal authorities say they're looking into how local law enforcement handled the July 29 raid. FBI Agent Rich Wolf said late Thursday that the bureau had opened a civil rights investigation into the case. A furious Calvo said earlier Thursday that he and his wife, Trinity Tomsic, had asked the government to investigate. "Trinity was an innocent victim and random victim," Calvo said outside his two-story, red-brick house in this middle-class Washington suburb of about 3,000 people. "We were harmed by the very people who took an oath to protect us." Calvo insisted the couple's two black Labradors were gentle creatures and said police apparently killed them "for sport," gunning down one of them as it was running away. "Our dogs were our children," said the 37-year-old Calvo. "They were the reason we bought this house because it had a big yard for them to run in." The mayor, who was changing his clothes when police burst in, also complained that he was handcuffed in his boxer shorts for about two hours along with his mother-in-law, and said the officers didn't believe him when he told them he was the mayor. No charges were brought against Calvo or his wife, who came home in the middle of the raid. Prince George's County Police Chief Melvin High said Wednesday that Calvo and his family were "most likely ... innocent victims," but he would not rule out their involvement, and he defended the way the raid was conducted. He and other officials did not apologize for killing the dogs, saying the officers felt threatened. The FBI will monitor how effective, fair and professional the law enforcement agency's conduct was during the incident, Wolf said. A police spokesman declined comment Thursday on the FBI investigation. Police announced Wednesday they had arrested two men suspected in a plot to smuggle 417 pounds of marijuana, and seized a total of $3.6 million in pot. Investigators said the package that arrived on Calvo's porch had been sent from Los Angeles via FedEx, and they had been tracking it ever since it drew the attention of a drug-sniffing dog in Arizona. Police intercepted it in Maryland, and an undercover detective posing as a deliveryman took it to the Calvo home. Calvo's defenders - including the Berwyn Heights police chief, who said his department should have been alerted ahead of time - said police had no right to enter the home without knocking. But officials insisted they acted within the law, saying the operation was compromised when Calvo's mother-in-law saw officers approaching the house and screamed. That could have given someone time to grab a gun or destroy evidence, authorities said. Neighbors in Berwyn Heights, which Calvo described as "Mayberry inside the Capital Beltway," have rallied around the couple. On Sunday night, supporters gathered on a ballfield to pay tribute to the family and the dogs. A banner on the wooden fence around Calvo's yard read, "Cheye and Trinity, We support you, Friends and Citizens of Berwyn Heights." Around it were dozens of handwritten messages from supporters. In addition to being the part-time mayor, Calvo works at a nonprofit foundation that runs boarding schools. His wife is a state finance officer. "When all of this happened I was flabbergasted," said next-door neighbor Edward Alexander. "I was completely stunned because those dogs didn't hurt anybody. They barely bark." The case is the latest embarrassment for Prince George's County officials. A former police officer was sentenced in May to 45 years in prison for shooting two furniture deliverymen at his home last year, one of them fatally. He claimed that they attacked him. In June, a suspect jailed in the death of a police officer was found strangled in his cell. Calvo said he was astonished that police have not only failed to apologize, but declined to clear the couple's names. His wife spoke through tears as she described an encounter with a girl who used to see the couple walking their dogs. "She gave me a big hug and she said, `If the police shot your dogs dead and did this to you, how can I trust them?'" Tomsic said. "I don't want people to feel like that. I just want them to be proud of our police and proud to live in Prince George's County." --- Associated Press writers Sarah Karush and Nafeesa Syeed in Washington and Kasey Jones in Baltimore contributed to this story. By BRETT ZONGKER Associated Press Writer

Are you serious? This shit happens to us in the African American community every single day of our lives. How many of you know someone who was shot, beaten, wrongfully accused, and/or just overall abused by the fuckin' police? And here we have some mayor who's cryin' because his dogs were killed?!?! Don't get me wrong. I love animals. I know that most people consider their pets a part of the family. But how many of our Black men have been shot down because police "thought the suspect had a gun"...when in all actuality they knew damn well when they asked the man for identification he HAD to reach in his pocket for it?!?! And for the mayor to say they "were harmed by the very people who took an oath to protect" them...WELCOME TO OUR WORLD!!! WELCOME AND GOOD MORNING! Wake up Mayor! This is the shit we've BEEN dealing with. These are the same officers who shot and killed Ray Ray last week because he was in the wrong damn place at the wrong damn time. What do you expect? You want the citizens of Maryland to rally around you because you're effin dogs were killed? What about the mothers who have had to bury their REAL children. Those that they CREATED. And then, supporters gather around the ballfield to pay tribute to the family! I mean...do what you wish, but seriously. Would any of these people have given a flying fuck if this same shit happened to the Jenkins family out in Baltimore some damn where? I think not. Then the girl who regularly saw the couple walking their dogs says "if the police shot your dogs dead and did this to you, how can I trust them?" Bitch WHERE THE FUCK YOU BEEN? DO YOU NOT WATCH THE NEWS?!?! Fuck them dogs. What about PEOPLE? I am not celebrating the fact that this couple's animals were killed...but damnit it's high time that someone, or something, OTHER than our Black brothers and/or sisters gets senselessly gunned down. It's about time they get an extremely SMALL dose of OUR reality.

Sidebar: I am by no means an angry black woman. However, I am ADAMANT about the abuse and degredation of Black people everywhere on behalf of the police. Further, I know the majority of the Black people who have encounters with the police have definitely done something wrong....but that does not take away from the number of Black people who have been wrongly accused and abused by the police. Those in the likes of Assata Shakur, Rodney King, Jena 6...the list keeps going. FUCK THE POLICE.

Dreams Do Come True

When I was in highschool I could have easily been categorized as a rebel (for lack of a better term). I skipped a grade and have always been younger than my classmates. My parents (meaning er'body who had a hand in raising me) had a lot of tough decisions to make based solely on my age difference. I mean, I was 5 in the second grade. This 2 year age difference never really had any impact on my life until highschool. While all my friends were allowed to do whatever the hell they wanted to do, I actually had rules! And it pissed me off. Be in the house by 10?!?!?! Pssssht! Whatever.
That's when all the trouble started. I never really had an issue with the things I was told to do until about my 10th grade year. The year I REALLY discovered boys and how wonderfully full of shit they were. I discovered weed that year. I discovered everything that a parent wants their child NOT to discover. Needless to say, I was off the chain. Now I never was a freak joint, nor was I extremely fast...but I was definitely speedin' in the left lane, lol. By this school year, most of my friends had been sexually active for 2 years or more. I wasn't. But damn if I won't real cute, lol. All the older boys wanted to talk to me...especially when they realized how young I was....taking my age for lack of knowledge.
Without telling all my damn business, I'll just say I really enjoyed my sophmore year of highschool. I was on Homecoming Court and just all around that was MY year. I was that bitch, lol. The men loved me....the bitches didn't, lol. I loved it. Fast forward to my junior year. I was on a whole 'nother level this school year. I was skipping school like nobody's business, sneakin' out the house, smokin' all day everyday...I was a mess. Looking back, it is so sad how grown I thought I was. 14 years old when I started 11th grade and turned 15 later that September!!! 14 smoking like a rasta. 15 skipping school to do God knows what. It was a shame. I am still regretful about that school year to this date. I hurt my family in so many ways. I always say if I was ever given a chance to do it over I would start with the 10th grade year (because I was the shit) and really act right 11th grade year.
Flash to senior year. Everything is starting out smooth. I'm 15 getting ready to turn 16 on the 21st of September(<---SHAMELESS plug). I've promised my whole family that I'm going to do right...turn over a new leaf. Things are going pretty well. That November my older cousin/best friend/partner in crime finds out she is pregnant. She was about 21 at the time. I joked her so bad. We used to party hard and we looooooved to flirt with the fellas. "Guess yo' ass won't be in a bikini THIS summer, LMAO. Guess it's gon' be a HOT summer for YOU. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiittttt.....wouldn't be me, LMAO!!!!" Flash to January 2003. I haven't come on my cycle. Aww shit. I go to pick up my paycheck from my old job. My cousin is with me and before I head to the manager's office I went to the bathroom to take a test. I left it with my cousin. After I got my check I went back to the bathroom. When I opened the door my cousin said, with all the joy she could muster, aaaaallll the same things I said to her. I can't even remember my reaction. I just remember thinking "I'm gonna have a baby." Abortion never ONCE crossed my mind. Never. Even at 16. Before I got pregnant I never thought I would be in college. Sure, I've always been extremely smart. Some people even go so far as to say that I'm one of the smartest people they know. I had always pictured my life as that of a Socialite. Education was NOWHERE on my list of priorities. Then I found myself pregnant. WTF?!?! Flash to August 23, 2003. I first laid eyes on my little lady this day. From the moment I saw her I knew my life had to change. I had to go to college. How else could I give this angel all the things my mother didn't give me?* How else could I stress to her how important it is to do well in school? How else could I afford to give her a comfortable lifestyle? Clearly, she didn't ask to be born to a 16 year old mother and 18 year old father. Why should she have to suffer?
That day I decided I would begin school as soon as possible. I was working a mediocre job at freakin' Pizza Hut and I didn't have a car or a license. School started the day she was born so I wasn't able to enroll at the local community college until January 2004. I took one class first. Then I moved up to two. Then three. I took a couple classes here and there until I had enough credits to transfer comfortably.
August 2007 I started my first semester at ODU. (GO MONARCHS!!!!) I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE SCHOOL. On my daughter's 5th birthday I will begin the first semester of my SENIOR YEAR! It's been a long time coming. It's been a struggle, with a lot of highs and even more lows. But, I'm realizing my dream. To be a good example to my daughter. I want to show her that I worked hard to go from a 16 year old mom with no vision to a 22 year old college GRADUATE. Last semester I was inducted into Sigma Tau Delta...the English Honor Fraternity. It was the first achievement, or award...recognition or whatever, since I can remember.
Ya'll see them honor cords, lol. I will be the first person on my mother's side of the family to graduate college! The FIRST! I can't wait to make everyone proud when I walk across that stage in May.
My dream is coming true. I'm making something out of nothing, and I couldn't be more excited.No matter what your setback is, there are ways around, over, under, or through it. Find the best route and take it.

Did You Realize That You Were a Champion?

I was just browsing the internet and I ran across some photos I really like. My pops (I have a stepdad whom I call dad...my real father I refer to as Pop) and I like to talk basketball every now and again. He is a basketball fanatic. I remember everytime we got together for a visit, whether short or extended, he would have me in somebody's gym, at least once, watching him play. Pop is short....for a man. He's about 5'6, maybe even 5'5. His height has never taken anything away from his game though. He plays with a lot of heart and with all his strength. I've always admired that about him. We used to watch NBA games when I was a kid and Muggsy Bogues was one of the most talked about players. I mean damn...that man is like my size. But I tell you what, his little ass gave everyone of those NBA players a run for their money. No doubt about it.

You see all that air? WTF?!?! My pops had a smile on his face from beginning to end of every Muggsy game. A smile like 'yeah nigga, WHAT!'. I know for a fact that seeing him play caused him to feel that much more confident on the court.

I don't know if ya'll have ever seen him play, but this man was QUICK. I'm talkin' 'bout stupid fast. He'd steal the ball from one of them 7 footers and they wouldn't have even seen him comin'...literally. Look at the picture above...see that little slick smile, lol.

They just couldn't hold him. Muggsy was a bad mothafucka ya'll. I'm dead serious.
Just to show how he looked in comparison to some of his fellow NBA players. He was pictured above with Manute Bol, his one-time teammate. I think Bol was like 7'7"...or 7'6".

This picture is one of my favorite Muhammad Ali shots.

First round. First minute. Knocked his ass out. Ali won't neva scared, lol. He was always full of confidence and fought with heart and soul. Can't nobody fight that smooth and fluid without some soul. I don't care what you say. Ali became the youngest to hold the Heavyweight Championship title when he whipped Sonny Liston's ass.

My Point: Work hard, exude confidence in ALL you do, and put some soul in it. You'll realize your inner champion...believe me.